I want a platonic relationship

On Sat, Mar 3, 2012 at 5:47 AM, Mj Uzumaki <mjuzumaki@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> Lately.,ive been thinking "why is that some guys will just text u,call
> u or hangout with u if he only likes u.,?" i know ive whined about
> love in d past.,there were times that i felt a bit desperate looking
> for d right one.,but since im a gemini, change is the only constant
> thing in my life..yesterday i want a lover,NOW im not in d mood to be
> inlove.,i just want to enjoy hanging out with someone.,talking with
> them.,laughing,being silly.,like when im with my girl friends.,in
> short,.I WANT A PLATONIC RELATIONSHIP.,
>
> a kind of relationship where u care bout each other but not as
> bf/gf.,just because he/she is ur friend.,no expectations.,no rules.,no
> conditions.,no sexual desire.,no lies., but its kinda hard to get.,Q_Q
>
> for example this guy.,we've been friends for like 3yrs now.,he's one
> of my good friends who's always there to console me.,i owe him a lot d
> last time i was down because of Phijay.,(early Feb2012).,i sent him a
> txt msg around 3 or 4am and he called me up immediately..though i
> didn't take his call,cause at that time im not really in d mood to
> speak with someone.,maybe i just need a soundboard.,but still he keeps
> on texting and calling me.,i find it nice of him talaga.,he's
> funny,super nice and sweet.,but i don't know..i just wish he'll stay
> that way na lang.. I find it awkward kasi when sometimes he's being
> too sweet to me.,,im not dense naman.,i
> find it weird whenever he says im cute.,even my "big nose" he calls it
> cutie nose" hahahaha., :)) though i should be flattered that someone
> appreciates me despite my flaws...he's too good of a friend to be my
> bf.,correction: i want him to remain as my close friend.. Maybe i used to consider him as a bf because he's smart and all.,but i only see him now
> as a buddy,and i hope he feels d same way.,i don't wanna lose him as
> a friend cause its hard to find a good guy like him.,not
> maniac.,sensible and stuffs.,
>
> although i know that its too good to be true.,that's why it kinda
> sucks when ur comfortable with a guy that u can be urself,be
> funny.,then emo d next.,without any pretensions.,and u not having to
> impress him.,u can act silly around,.be sweet.,then all of a sudden
> it'll all be awkward,cause he'll like u.,suddenly ur not just a
> friend.. I wish we could stay friends..i wish guys would hangout with
a girl not for anything.,not because he's gay,.not because he likes d
> girl.but just because he wants to have another "crazy girl FRIEND".,:)
>
>  On a 2nd thought,.that also brought me into conclusion,that a lot of
> times when u see a guy as a friend.,we girls show the real us.,but
> when we like a guy or have a crush on him, we tend to impress him to
> the point of faking it, just for him to take notice and like us., and
> rarely it works.,and even if ur "small roleplaying" works.there's
> always the time when our real selves will creep in,then we'll become a
> monster in disguise in their eyes., Lesson: always be who you
> are.,don't pretend to be someone for him to like u.,cause a guy who
> really loves u will love that "creepy and crazy gal" inside u.,:)



Wrote this ng maalimpungatan ako after a weird dream..:P

My Alternative Songs Month

the angels they burn inside for us 

are we ever 

are we ever gonna learn to fly

the devils they burn inside of us

are we ever gonna come back down 

come around

I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold 

I consider this month of February as my "my alternative songs month"..why? cause i was soo sad (not anymore) ayun this song "Angels and Demons" by Dishwalla caught my interest..,along with the other old stuffs.,like "I Think God Can Explain by Splender".,"Look After You by The Fray" and a host of others..(click this ALTERNATIVE  to listen to the songs ) Pinapakinggan ko siya noon everytime i feel sad and wanna reflect.,it helped.,kaso lalo lang ako nasa-sad that time kaya hindi ko muna sila pinakinggan.,but now that im feeling better.,ayun ok na :)

What i like about these songs aside from the melody syempre are the lyrics.,its totally what i felt at that time.,and mga gusto ko sabihin.,lyrics is important to me bago ko mgustuhan yung song.,kaya aun.,:)

Angels and Demons..yung time that im still depressed

I think God can Explain...when i finally learned to accept and let go.,.,ill just let God do his will i guess.,this song kinda made me stronger.,and helped me to move on :)

It's all right, I'm O.K., 

I think God can explain,

I believe I’m the same,

I get carried away

It's alright, I'm O.K., 

I think God can explain

I'm relieved, I'm relaxed, 

I'll get over it yeah.

How many boyfriends you've had??

A lot of times i got ask "how many boyfriends you've had in the past?" Im sure someone had ask you the same question..Some would answer "just a few" or "nope i've never had one" (ay bongga maria clara c ate!)..A few (mostly guys) would brag about how many girls they've managed to get laid in the past.,(honestly guys its not a turn on..).  But most of us always choose the safest answer answer "i don't know hindi naman ako nagbibilang".

In the past,.gamit na gamit ko yung last answer..maybe because ayaw ko lang mg-elaborate too much.,or i was afraid that someone might think i have lots of experience.,i know it sucks -_-.,but its a fact.,A lot of people thinks that a girl who had a lot of bf  must have a lot of sexual encounters.,so judgemental right?  Not all are maniacs.,LOL.,! and not all relationships naman consider sex as the cohesive tape between two partners.,might be true in most cases but not always..

Oh well my Gemini thingy kicked again.,im losing my point lol.,im here to tell you what's my answer to the question i mentioned before.,"how many boyfriends did i have?" .,Like what ive said i used to give the safest answer.,but that was before.,Cause for the past 2yrs and a half of being single i realized i only had ONE boyfriend in my entire life.,

Yeah some of the peeps who asked find my answer a bit weird..Some of my friends would even say "aw don't believe her, she had lots! "   Yeah im not saying i only had one guy.,they're right i had lots..don't get me wrong.,im not implying that im pretty ha! how i wish LOL!..im just average.,not the type of girl na  "mapapa-second look" ka.,but i guess its because when i was still young i was pretty active in the dating scene.,not active like grabbing a guy and have some "fun" thing okay??    What i mean is when i was young i had this crazy pattern which im not proud of.,I know a lot of people na meron den nitong pattern na to.,

Here's the pattern :  When you were young and your steady bf/gf are breaking up or close to breaking up..lots of times there's always the "reserba" guy/girl..and this "reserba" might be the reason you guys are breaking or migt come after your relationship ended..,but whichever.,this "reserba" is the next person you'll have a relationship with.,if you're the one who cheated, he/she is your "kabet" of some sort.,If ur the brokenhearted one, this person is ur "panakip butas"..You get what i mean?  Im not saying the "kabet" or 3rd party is always the bad one okay?  He/she might be super awesome that you chose to him/her over the one you're with..(teka nalalayo na naman ako)  What im pointing is, when we were young we tend to engage ourselves to a "rebound relationship".,(ill tackle this one on my future post)  SO because of this rebound thing, which is like "jumping from one relationship to another"., i had lots of guys...(actually not lots naman, i know others have tons lol)  

Of course i had strong feelings for these guys.,AT THAT TIME ha.. we said iloveu's.,cared for each other.,the usual bf/gf thing.,ive left some of them and broke their hearts which made them hate me at that time (hehehe nagmaganda eh no)..,But of course,there were also those wo left me and made me stay awake,crying all night ng bongga.,these guys are the one whom i thought i really love.,cause when someone left you,its automatic that you'll feel like "OMG i can't lose him,i love him so much.," OR "i beg you fate,bring him back.,cause i won't ever love this way again"..blah blah blah.,  Sometimes i'll even tell that person who broke my heart "I won't ever forget you for the rest of my life.."  LOL.,now that i think about it,i realized im full of crap! haha.,  Maybe i meant those words at that time.,i even remember being heartbroken for this one guy (Naruto) for a year.,it even affected my work till i left my job.,cause i was sooooo depress talaga.,(he's the reason why i started this blog years ago.,)  Cause i was so heartbroken i needed an outlet,.i said ill give my all just to get him back....

But you know what?? All these guys i said i loved (including Naruto)..none of them ang kino-consider ko as my boyfriend or ex now...except ONE..my longest relationship with Mr.Babyface..(corny codename eh,lol.,i can't

ANOTHER VALENTINE...

ayun another valentines had pass..2010..2011..2012..loveless ang lola mo..! LOL.,although its not much of a big deal naman.,.technically i think i spent valentines without a guy for 5yrs talaga.,cause the first two years eventhough im still with Phijay, he wasn't here naman because of his work.,soooo it means 5 consecutive years na aqong ZERO! no letter.,no card.,no cake.,no flower.,no gift.,no iloveu's.,hehehe.,so wawa.,

though someone asked me for a date naman.,kaso i don't know..sometimes gusto ko na sapukin sarili ko.,why can't i even go to a "friendly date".,sobrang tinatamad talaga ako.,specially when i don't feel anything naman with the guy.,i don't wanna lead him on.,sayang naman ang effort at money nea right??  but the downside..its like im limiting myself.,instead of widening my horizon, ako naman yung tanggi ng tanggi.,to think na wala naman akong karapatang maging "choosy" cause sabi nga ng quotes "choosy ka pa,juicy ka ba?" LOL.,im not naman.,kaso  don't know maybe gaya ng sabi ko sa isang guy friend.,as u get older u tend to be a bit picky.,ang hirap ng mainlove.,or kiligin.,BLAME THE HORMONES!

but going back.,im still happy! cause i was able to spend my vday with my family! :) 2009-2011 i spent it with my friends.,umalis den naman kmi ng family.,but this year 2012.,its exclusively for my family lang.,we ate out and konting pasyal (nasira nga lang diet ko)  sobrang pagod.,nakatulog agad kami as soon as we

I Love to Hate You

Me after meeting a pathological Liar..>my Ego hurts >Hate > Indifference > Amused :)

Dear Mr.Lemon,

                  I could say a lot of hate words that can make you wince.,but i'd rather not.,i just want you to know that you really amused me.,lol.,thanks for the entertainment.,but i kinda pity ur gf for having a guy like u..tsk tsk

MJ

In just one snap

Funny when the one thing that you thought doesn't matter to you for years..could make you feel like you just wanted to die in just one snap..,

I just woke up around 3am and this random thought suddenly came to my head... thinking of Phijay .,i wish i could turn back the time..so i could take back my words..that i wanna be free from him..it sucks that after 3yrs of not caring, i just found myself missing him.,why now ko lang na-realized how great his love was for me...?? just hurt a lot that i wanna die ( not literally though,msakit weh) in sleep...hope this is just for now..

First Rant "Should You Check Your Partners Cellphone/Facebook?"

Hi girls! I'm Mr.NotSoGoodGuy and apparently this is my first post. I'm not really good in this thing cause i'm a lazy ass,(rather play on my PS3 gah!) but Fickle asked me to do this, cause she said i need some release too hahaha! and yeah to give a guy's point of view here..

Oh well, you guys don't know but i just got out of a bad break up recently. Really really bad, that i'm starting to get scared with the girls! lol kidding..You see, this girl i used to hang out with for like a month, started showing signs of being crazy..Suddenly she wants to get all my passwords..on my email, Facebook (which she gladly deactivated after we broke up ) my phone password and would you believe even my game accounts!!?? Crazy right??

Yes it was really crazy but come to think of it..now that i try to look back and think of my reaction at that time..maybe she really have a reason to be suspicious.. Honestly, i kinda regret

Now.,I might be crazy thinking bout you.,while ur busy thinking of
someone else.,
Now.,You must be very happy taking care of her heart, while ur breaking mine.,
Now.,I maybe holding on to your promise while u've already forgotten
all about it.,
But time is my friend.,
Tomorrow you'll see.,
Everything will change.,and my feelings is no exception.,
Just watch me..

Crazy thoughts 1

"..have u ever think of me even once? You may not be in my thoughts as much as before,.but every now and then, especially when im alone.,i sometimes thinks of u.,i want to convince myself that you're just busy
with some stuffs.,but do you think its an excuse enough.,? "

Luis and my new pup Sachi

hi! last Sunday, November 14, i bought a new puppy.,Saint Bernard crossbreed xa.,i named her "Christmas" (cause christmas is my fave celebration.,) but then i changed it to Sachi cause sabi ni mama palitan daw...ehehe...omg sobrang gastos.,sa dog food.,sa vitamins and pa-check up...haist.....kakapang-hinayang.,mahal ng pgkabili pati maintennance mahal den hehe.,but i love my puppy so ok lng.,at 1st mejo ng-worry me ksi matamlay at 3 days nde kumakain.,but now im glad kc super kulit na nea.,un nga lang sumobra ang kulit.,huhuhu.,lage nanghaharot...:(

and now its November 23.,now q lng naalala n my account pla q d2 so aun.,natuwa me n mbasa ung mga old entries q.,kay aaron pa pla me baliw nun hahhaha.,i skipped the part when me and Luis were together.,sayang ,,dami q ren kalokahan at that time.,but anyways ive moved on and happy now..! im planning to apply for work sa abroad.,bale sa Dec 7, appointment sched qoh for passport.,i can't wait.,im so excited.,:) 

bale now kkrating q lng from UST.,ngpa-check up me sa derma kc my rashes me.,huhuhuhu..,now mejo phirapan na kung ano pede gmitin.,sayang kc kkbili q lng ng tomato soap q.,but now they advised me to use Cetaphil instead.,haisst..,so un lng.,laro muna me.,babayooo!

BIDA ANG MGA EX's

hmmm.,it's February.,love month n poh.,hmmm aqoh khit wla me lovelife.,carry paren.,since wla nman aqong ikukwen2 na special someone kc zero nmn ang lovelife q now.,share q nlng ang aking past.,star sa blog qoh for this day ang mga Ex's ni Majho.,hehehe! Ahm e2 lng ung mga guy na ngmarka sken.,lhat cla friends qoh pren kc wla nman me kaaway na ex qoh.,they're nice 2 me pren nman.,un nga lng,mas ok pah kmi as friends.,hehe.,mga babaero kc.,but not all nman.,ung iba d2 aq ng-iwan (soweee...) d qoh n sbihin if cnu cla ng-iwan at iniwan.,respect nlng.,blurred q nlng ibang pics nila.,bka kc mgalit mga gf nila now.,hehehe..ok start!




1.

Francis - hehe! xa daw c Big F and my Big ex,msg nea sa voicemail qoh.,ahm e2 c mr.DJ.,kc he sounds like a DJ tlga sa radio..,nde xa mrunong mxadong mg-tagalog kea nosebleed kah d2 dhil puro english ang usapan.,haissst.,at sobrang bilis pah mgsalita.,weakness qoh pa nman sa guy ung english speaking..i met him thru my friend Paolo (cuzin nea). Nung una tinataguan qoh 2 sa fone kc nga pra xang my aircon na dala (mahangin.,joke!) One reason kea nging close kmi n2 nung mlaman nmen n we have the same birthday pla.,June 5,1984..YEP.,as in lahat.,the month,the day,even the year.,! grabe.,shocked nga kmi preho.,kea 2loy kala nmen destiny kmi.,chicken! Champion 2 sa basketball.,kea babaero.,yeah naagaw xa saken ng isang fan nea.,pero dpat daw nde qoh x pinakawalan sabi nea kc kmi pa nun.,ano xa hello??? LOL.,pero ok lng.,dun nlng xa.,
***Sweet Factor (1-5) ---> 4
***Babaero Factor (1-5) ---> 4

2.
Chad - yeah the sweetest guy ever..c spongebob a.k.a Mr.krab.,ahm pinaka-cute na ex qoh.,tsaka pinaka-bata.,gimikero and npaka-fashionista kea nanliliit me pag ksama q 2.,magaling sumayaw kc nga gimikero.,but one thing i admire bout him is khit prang alangan kmi sa isat'2x eh wla xang care sa ibang tao.,and xa lang ngsuprise saken with a bouquet of flowers.,haba ng hair qoh dat day.,hehehe! Super sweet kc he loves to hug & say iloveu.,pero gentleman pren.,sobra..,pag e2 nging bf u pra kang princess.,ayaw u pagalawin.,gusto nga me punasan sa likod one time npansin nea na pingpawisan me.,pero xempre yoko no,nkkahiya.,d qoh mkklimutan ginawa nea 4 me.,ung tinago ng lolo nea ung phone.,lam u nu ginwa nea.,bumyahe pa xa ng mdaling-araw pra mnghiram ng fon sa friend nmen c Eric.,but sadly.,ngbreak kmi.,reason?? NDE DAW AQ SWEET! 22o nman weh.,i admit it.,kea now.,im changed na.,less pride, more sweetness..thanks pren sa knya..Swerte mgiging gf n2 kea keo gurls go 4 it na.,hehe!:)
***Sweet Factor ---> 5
***Babaero Factor ---> 3

3.
Raymond - (la qoh pic nea,kea c william hung nlng.,she bangs,she bangs.,hahaha!) ahm e2 nman ang pinaka-babaero s lhat.,super playboy! d2 qoh una ngpakatanga,lalo na in terms of money.,working student kc me nun sa Jollibee kea un ubos lhat ng sweldo qoh s knya..,hahaha! ngtagal den kmi ng 1yr n2.,(sna nga nde nlng..) Super mahal q 2 kso.,sobrang nhurt me sa knya.,kc lge nea me cnasaktan emotionally.,kea un my dumating na isang guy,n nde q nman mhal pero feeling q mhal aq.,kea khit mahal qoh pah c Raymond.,i chose the other guy.,binreak qoh xa tlga hrapan.,iyak xa.! kc nde xa mkapniwala kea qoh xa pgpalit.,ilang beses xa bumalik kso nwala n feelings qoh 4 him weh.,cnu ung guy na pinalit qoh?? c Phijay.
***Sweet Factor ---> 3
***Babaero Factor --->5!

4.

Phijay - hmmm question mark pah if consider qoh na xa as ex..xa pinakamatagal qong nging bf.,one of the cutest den.,4yrs&6mos..,i met him sa Jollibee.,senior nea qoh kea "ate majho" twag saken n2 nung una.,heartrob xa sa store nmen kea sa loob plng ng 3mos nka-3 na xang gf.,sobrang babaero.,crush qoh xa physically b4 pero crush lng kc sobrang totoy ng itsura tsaka feeling qoh malabong mgkagusto sken kc nga cutie2x.,kea sabi qoh hnggang pangarap nlng me.,hehehe.,xa pinaka-aning sa store nmen.,lhat gus2 xa ksama kc pra ngang clown sa kulit.,at "dakilang tomador"pa.,kea cmula nung dumating xa dun after duty lge my inuman.,pero minsan lng me sumama kc busy me sa school nun tsaka yaw q mgalit c Raymond (kami pah kc at that time..) So yun tropa2x lng.,naalala qoh xa ung ngpptawa saken one time kc minsan out nmen ng gabi,nhuli nila me umiiyak.,pasaway kc c Raymond nde me cnundo.,dun qoh xa na-aapreciate.,then nung ilang days nlang mg-endo n me.,ngulat me gus2 nea me ihatid.,sbi nea pa "ate majho,hatid k n nmen".,pilit kinukuha bag qoh.,sabi qoh "bat mo qoh hahatid?loko ka pj mea mgpahatid nga ako tpos di mo naman aq ihahatid,may sapak ka saken!?" Aun hinatid nmn nila qoh pero sa skayan lng me ngpahatid.,ilang days after that lage nea n me inaabangan khit la xa duty.,aun isang gabi pg-out qoh pinilit me na sagutin qoh xa.,ngulat me.,kc kala qoh tropa lng weh.,(lam u ano ngustuhan nea saken khit mgaganda mga ibang gf nea dun.,mukha daw me mhinhin,hahaha! tsaka simple lng daw kc me & mukhang masungit..nyeks..)cute xa oo pero my bf aq weh.,mhal q nun c Raymond.,sbi q d pwede kc my bf me..,aun ok lng daw sa knya khit 2 cla bsta mhalin qoh lng daw xa.,sabi qoh pg-iisipan qoh.,then aun nga si Raymond,pasaway.,lage me tinetake 4 granted.,kea inaccept qoh c PJ.,nde nman aq ngsisi kc kumpara nman ky Raymond.,mabait nmn c PJ saken.,accepted pa xa ng family qoh.,mand tumagal pa kami.,dami kming mssyang moments..,i thought kmi n tlga forever.,until...i met my soulmate..who changed my fucking life in an instant,.,kso nde nren xa pwede,kc like me..nakatali na xa sa iba..,sad noh?un lng.,d qoh na i22loy.
***Sweet Factor ---> 4
***Babaero Factor --->3

So un lng.,that's all for now muna.,labas muna me.,bka andon n c prince charming.,JOke Darating den c right guy 4 me,bka ntraffic lng.,! while nde pah xa dumadating mg-EnJoy Muna me!:)