I want a platonic relationship

On Sat, Mar 3, 2012 at 5:47 AM, Mj Uzumaki <mjuzumaki@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> Lately.,ive been thinking "why is that some guys will just text u,call
> u or hangout with u if he only likes u.,?" i know ive whined about
> love in d past.,there were times that i felt a bit desperate looking
> for d right one.,but since im a gemini, change is the only constant
> thing in my life..yesterday i want a lover,NOW im not in d mood to be
> inlove.,i just want to enjoy hanging out with someone.,talking with
> them.,laughing,being silly.,like when im with my girl friends.,in
> short,.I WANT A PLATONIC RELATIONSHIP.,
>
> a kind of relationship where u care bout each other but not as
> bf/gf.,just because he/she is ur friend.,no expectations.,no rules.,no
> conditions.,no sexual desire.,no lies., but its kinda hard to get.,Q_Q
>
> for example this guy.,we've been friends for like 3yrs now.,he's one
> of my good friends who's always there to console me.,i owe him a lot d
> last time i was down because of Phijay.,(early Feb2012).,i sent him a
> txt msg around 3 or 4am and he called me up immediately..though i
> didn't take his call,cause at that time im not really in d mood to
> speak with someone.,maybe i just need a soundboard.,but still he keeps
> on texting and calling me.,i find it nice of him talaga.,he's
> funny,super nice and sweet.,but i don't know..i just wish he'll stay
> that way na lang.. I find it awkward kasi when sometimes he's being
> too sweet to me.,,im not dense naman.,i
> find it weird whenever he says im cute.,even my "big nose" he calls it
> cutie nose" hahahaha., :)) though i should be flattered that someone
> appreciates me despite my flaws...he's too good of a friend to be my
> bf.,correction: i want him to remain as my close friend.. Maybe i used to consider him as a bf because he's smart and all.,but i only see him now
> as a buddy,and i hope he feels d same way.,i don't wanna lose him as
> a friend cause its hard to find a good guy like him.,not
> maniac.,sensible and stuffs.,
>
> although i know that its too good to be true.,that's why it kinda
> sucks when ur comfortable with a guy that u can be urself,be
> funny.,then emo d next.,without any pretensions.,and u not having to
> impress him.,u can act silly around,.be sweet.,then all of a sudden
> it'll all be awkward,cause he'll like u.,suddenly ur not just a
> friend.. I wish we could stay friends..i wish guys would hangout with
a girl not for anything.,not because he's gay,.not because he likes d
> girl.but just because he wants to have another "crazy girl FRIEND".,:)
>
>  On a 2nd thought,.that also brought me into conclusion,that a lot of
> times when u see a guy as a friend.,we girls show the real us.,but
> when we like a guy or have a crush on him, we tend to impress him to
> the point of faking it, just for him to take notice and like us., and
> rarely it works.,and even if ur "small roleplaying" works.there's
> always the time when our real selves will creep in,then we'll become a
> monster in disguise in their eyes., Lesson: always be who you
> are.,don't pretend to be someone for him to like u.,cause a guy who
> really loves u will love that "creepy and crazy gal" inside u.,:)



Wrote this ng maalimpungatan ako after a weird dream..:P

How many boyfriends you've had??

A lot of times i got ask "how many boyfriends you've had in the past?" Im sure someone had ask you the same question..Some would answer "just a few" or "nope i've never had one" (ay bongga maria clara c ate!)..A few (mostly guys) would brag about how many girls they've managed to get laid in the past.,(honestly guys its not a turn on..).  But most of us always choose the safest answer answer "i don't know hindi naman ako nagbibilang".

In the past,.gamit na gamit ko yung last answer..maybe because ayaw ko lang mg-elaborate too much.,or i was afraid that someone might think i have lots of experience.,i know it sucks -_-.,but its a fact.,A lot of people thinks that a girl who had a lot of bf  must have a lot of sexual encounters.,so judgemental right?  Not all are maniacs.,LOL.,! and not all relationships naman consider sex as the cohesive tape between two partners.,might be true in most cases but not always..

Oh well my Gemini thingy kicked again.,im losing my point lol.,im here to tell you what's my answer to the question i mentioned before.,"how many boyfriends did i have?" .,Like what ive said i used to give the safest answer.,but that was before.,Cause for the past 2yrs and a half of being single i realized i only had ONE boyfriend in my entire life.,

Yeah some of the peeps who asked find my answer a bit weird..Some of my friends would even say "aw don't believe her, she had lots! "   Yeah im not saying i only had one guy.,they're right i had lots..don't get me wrong.,im not implying that im pretty ha! how i wish LOL!..im just average.,not the type of girl na  "mapapa-second look" ka.,but i guess its because when i was still young i was pretty active in the dating scene.,not active like grabbing a guy and have some "fun" thing okay??    What i mean is when i was young i had this crazy pattern which im not proud of.,I know a lot of people na meron den nitong pattern na to.,

Here's the pattern :  When you were young and your steady bf/gf are breaking up or close to breaking up..lots of times there's always the "reserba" guy/girl..and this "reserba" might be the reason you guys are breaking or migt come after your relationship ended..,but whichever.,this "reserba" is the next person you'll have a relationship with.,if you're the one who cheated, he/she is your "kabet" of some sort.,If ur the brokenhearted one, this person is ur "panakip butas"..You get what i mean?  Im not saying the "kabet" or 3rd party is always the bad one okay?  He/she might be super awesome that you chose to him/her over the one you're with..(teka nalalayo na naman ako)  What im pointing is, when we were young we tend to engage ourselves to a "rebound relationship".,(ill tackle this one on my future post)  SO because of this rebound thing, which is like "jumping from one relationship to another"., i had lots of guys...(actually not lots naman, i know others have tons lol)  

Of course i had strong feelings for these guys.,AT THAT TIME ha.. we said iloveu's.,cared for each other.,the usual bf/gf thing.,ive left some of them and broke their hearts which made them hate me at that time (hehehe nagmaganda eh no)..,But of course,there were also those wo left me and made me stay awake,crying all night ng bongga.,these guys are the one whom i thought i really love.,cause when someone left you,its automatic that you'll feel like "OMG i can't lose him,i love him so much.," OR "i beg you fate,bring him back.,cause i won't ever love this way again"..blah blah blah.,  Sometimes i'll even tell that person who broke my heart "I won't ever forget you for the rest of my life.."  LOL.,now that i think about it,i realized im full of crap! haha.,  Maybe i meant those words at that time.,i even remember being heartbroken for this one guy (Naruto) for a year.,it even affected my work till i left my job.,cause i was sooooo depress talaga.,(he's the reason why i started this blog years ago.,)  Cause i was so heartbroken i needed an outlet,.i said ill give my all just to get him back....

But you know what?? All these guys i said i loved (including Naruto)..none of them ang kino-consider ko as my boyfriend or ex now...except ONE..my longest relationship with Mr.Babyface..(corny codename eh,lol.,i can't

In just one snap

Funny when the one thing that you thought doesn't matter to you for years..could make you feel like you just wanted to die in just one snap..,

I just woke up around 3am and this random thought suddenly came to my head... thinking of Phijay .,i wish i could turn back the time..so i could take back my words..that i wanna be free from him..it sucks that after 3yrs of not caring, i just found myself missing him.,why now ko lang na-realized how great his love was for me...?? just hurt a lot that i wanna die ( not literally though,msakit weh) in sleep...hope this is just for now..

Misery

Misery loves company. Don't let miserable people suck the happiness out of your life.

First Rant "Should You Check Your Partners Cellphone/Facebook?"

Hi girls! I'm Mr.NotSoGoodGuy and apparently this is my first post. I'm not really good in this thing cause i'm a lazy ass,(rather play on my PS3 gah!) but Fickle asked me to do this, cause she said i need some release too hahaha! and yeah to give a guy's point of view here..

Oh well, you guys don't know but i just got out of a bad break up recently. Really really bad, that i'm starting to get scared with the girls! lol kidding..You see, this girl i used to hang out with for like a month, started showing signs of being crazy..Suddenly she wants to get all my passwords..on my email, Facebook (which she gladly deactivated after we broke up ) my phone password and would you believe even my game accounts!!?? Crazy right??

Yes it was really crazy but come to think of it..now that i try to look back and think of my reaction at that time..maybe she really have a reason to be suspicious.. Honestly, i kinda regret

Appreciating Sadness

Sometimes when im feeling okay.,i find it a lil boring.,don't get me wrong,im a happy person.,i love being happy.,but sometimes i kinda miss being sad.,the feeling of being heartbroken.,cause it is when i appreciate the lyrics of a song.,it motivates me to write and express my feelings.,it reminds me to appreciate what i have over what i need.,sadness makes me aware that even if someone left, the real people who loves me are still there.,sadness makes me thankful for my family and friends who embrace me with their unconditional love especially when im in my lowest moment., Being sad doesn't necessarilymake you an emo.,being sad is a form of connecting to your innerself., discovering yourself.,and knowing the importance of the people who really matters.,See? Its not that bad.,

Now.,I might be crazy thinking bout you.,while ur busy thinking of
someone else.,
Now.,You must be very happy taking care of her heart, while ur breaking mine.,
Now.,I maybe holding on to your promise while u've already forgotten
all about it.,
But time is my friend.,
Tomorrow you'll see.,
Everything will change.,and my feelings is no exception.,
Just watch me..

Crazy thoughts 1

"..have u ever think of me even once? You may not be in my thoughts as much as before,.but every now and then, especially when im alone.,i sometimes thinks of u.,i want to convince myself that you're just busy
with some stuffs.,but do you think its an excuse enough.,? "

Journal hopping

Nope.,not d usual blog hopping where i go to one blog to another.Remember last night i was hoping to find an online notepad..why? Causei can't open my Penzu diary on my phone.,although i do have mypersonal blog on blogger ( d mother of all my blogs,cause i have lots)its not working as well on my cp whenever i try to compose one.,i waslosing hope n tlga.,even tumblr doesn't like me:( so then i decidedto just settle with a downloadable diary like my old one efficient diary.,but then again im still skeptical den kc what if ma-wipe outang memory q.,so i searched for top blogsites.,it gave me livejournal.,i transferred my posts on penzu one by one.,a bittedious.,then i found out they're not really for free and the layout kinda bored me.,so i went back to blogger again.,good thing,they have email2blogger.,not sure if if that's the right term.,but that means ican just type it on my email then it'll automatically publish my postafter sending it to a certain addy.,im currently doing it now butstill have to struggle with char limitation.,hahaizt.,how i wish ihave a smartphone,even the cheapest one.,-_-

My not-so very first entry

This is my first time using this.,i used to have an online notepad but i guess they shut it down.,i also have an online diary at penzu but unfortunately i can't access it here on my mobile.,so yeah im trying diz stuff.,facebook notes naman kainis.,after a long paragraph ill soon find out that it would be cut in half.,hopefully this one won't disappoint me.,i really need a good online notepad cause every now and then a thought will just popped out from my mind.,and im not always infront of the pc naman.,or aun naputol...kaasar d ba? haha oh well ill paste this na lang sa livejournal..ugh

~imported this from an online notepad..kalimutan q na anu un..